The Consolation of Joy

     Long ago I used to write many poems.

     Poems of love, pain, beauty, nature, song, but then it all vanished.

     It became vapors that soon ceased into nothingness.

     Longing for what vanished has caused me to wander astray into nothingness.

     Poems that once granted me solace are now illusions in my dreams.

     They haunt me day and night without rest, without comfort, without peace.

The park used to be a fond place of mine and as I walk down its familiar paths, I begin to yearn for what used to be, but I have no way back for I have lost sight of the path I once trod. The path I once knew so well was a beautiful one where I had a friend. She cared for me and helped me through so many of my life trials. She was there for me when my father left and when I longed so deeply for the days of my childhood. The days when I had no care in the world. The days when I ran barefoot through the fields and woods of my old lands.

     The winds caressed her locks as they flowed down her narrow spine.

     The trees danced with the same energy that filled her heart.

     The animals scampered up into trees and bushes as she twirled and twisted her way through the groves.

     Each movement was accompanied by a level of unmeasurable joy.

     A joy that brought life into her very veins and that overflowed through her dance.

As I continue down the pathway, a figure appears in my way. Through tear stained eyes, the figure seems to me to resemble a woman dressed in a radiant gown of vibrant blues. She gracefully sauntered my way and began speaking to me.

“I come to bring you great peace and rejoicing. Do not be sorrowful for Trial is not here at the moment,” says Joy. “My desire is for you to feel free to express how you are feeling.”

“Who is Trial?”

“My dear child, Trial is who has separated us for so long now. He places you in difficult situations that stand between me and you. I cannot be in his presence for he is not an of spring of Virtue. So, I am here to reveal to you the damage he does.”

Joy takes me by the hand and leads me over to the shade of the old oak tree by the edge of the park. She sits me down and tells me that she is going to aid me in recovering who I have lost sight of because of my affiliations with Trial.

“My darling child, we have growth to cultivate, but we must start by preparing the ground before anything can flourish there. You have allowed people to plant weeds in your ground that don’t belong there. You must uproot the complaints of people and their opinions of you and cast them back to Trial. He does not deserve a place in your heart. Do you understand?”

“I believe I do. You are saying part of what is hindering my growth is my mistake in allowing others to define me by their words, and I must not take them to heart because they are hurting me.”

“That is exactly right, Darling. Next, you must decide which plants belong in your soil. Do you want lush flowers or cacti that cause pain?”

“I want lush beautiful flowers.”

“Exactly, which means you have to distance yourself in life from negative, grumpy people. They don’t support your personal growth.”

“This makes so much more sense, Joy. I had not realized all of these things that Trial had brought into my life. I don’t like his company. However, I still don’t feel like he is completely gone yet. What else do I have to understand that I have forgotten?”

“You are correct in realizing he is still hindering you. You must now fertilize your garden.”

“What do you mean, Joy? I don’t understand what you are implying.”

“You must forgive Trial for the hurt he has caused you and forgive the people in your life that have hurt you and left you disappointed at times when you needed them most. It is essential that you do so, otherwise no matter how much you cultivate, pick out what you want in your garden or prepare for it, it won’t grow. It will be choked out by bitterness and sorrows.”

“Thank you, Joy. Thank you so much for your help and companionship. I hope for many more encounters with you in the near future because you have opened my eyes to what I could not perceive. The difference between you and Trial has eluded me for so long, and I have wept so many nights because I didn’t know how to respond to the world around me. But now I understand, and the veil has been torn from my face. And so, I will lift my hands unto Heaven and rejoice freely for you have reunited me with you once again as in our old days.”

I get up feeling revived and free like the flowers that are swaying in the field before me. As I stroll back to my car, a smile gradually overtakes the saddened face that was the only thing I had known for so long now.